I never realized that hrt aand transitioning can give you a different insite. Recently I have been meditating, a form of pain contol, but also to centre myself after a frustrating event or few hours. Often, during this relaxed state, I get flooded with images, sequences, events and sometimes mere moments in time. I can see my past with different eyes, since I am the observer watching the film unfold. Sometimes - if lucky - I can see a different ending to this moment, something else I could have done, a different action ...and I get breif glimpses of what might have been.
I know it is much too late to change things, and most I would leave alone. I am a stong believer in history repeating itself, and I can definitely see some patterns.
Now, if I can just remember what to change, what not to, and to brace myself for the consequences, I will finally make some real emotional progress.
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