A point of no return ...

Part of my CAMH letter asked for "any other current "Gender Role Experience documents; such as legal name change; school transcripts; work records or volunteer letters" so here it goes ...

Where I live the Ontario Office of the Registrar General, the government ministry/agency that deals with official records including birth, death, identification marriage, identity and any changes there of.  Therefore, as of 28 March 2013, I am officially petitioning the Registrar General to change my name from Sean to Jacquelyn Sonya.  It might sound silly, but my hands were shaking during the affirmation (being Pagan, I preferred not to swear on the Bible) and during the mailing of the package (all 20 pages).

Since part of the process involves notification and since I was married (been separated since '98), I have to notify my ex - who I don't think had any clue ... so I decided to pre-emptedly come out to her, before she receives the letter.

"<<Ex's Name>>,

Years ago I went through a severe depression (right around the time of the custody hearings) and I started exploring who I really am.  I went through meditation, soul searching and much more.  It literally took years.

I reached out for help, did research, more soul searching and much more.
This is hard to talk about, especially since it doesn't directly effect you - not to be rude.  But it effects me and it does effect my relationship with <<daughter's name>>.  I am asking that you not tell <<daughter's name>>, it is important to me that I AM THE ONE ... plus it is etiquette not to "out" someone.

I know you were not open-minded to various types of people.

At first I was wondering if I was "gay", but this wasn't right.  I started "cross dressing" occasionally, but again not quite right.

On May 24th I am getting my "official" diagnosis as Gender Dysphoria.  It is also known as Gender Identity Disorder.  Essentially one is born into the body of the wrong sex - my mental gender does not match my physical body.  I am working on changing my physical being to reflect my mental image.

I am sending you acknowledgement of my application for name change.  (parts removed for privacy)

Sean ********"

I haven't had any reply, but I can just imagine the language of the reply ... *giggles  It's a good thing that she just gets a notification and that she doesn't have to approve it.  We have spoken since ~2001, and only recently since she is having some problems that effected our daughter.

Any ways, back to the paperwork ... I can't wait till I get the "official" reply, and I just hope I don't get a delay, as I would LOVE to bring this document with my CAMH meeting.  I am taking of the breaks and starting to move into high gear ...