Sitting in Neurofeedback at moment and thinking this is a good time to give a quick update since my "catch up" a few days ago .... thanks everyone whole took a peek into my madness.
'Guy-mode' ... *sigh.
If I knew (realized) that I had to have 4 days growth for an electrolysis session, I would have integrated them into between my iPL treatments (even tho laser place said not to because progress would have been impossible to track. My electrolysis tech says that she would do 1 hour sessions at a time ... and that I might need 4 to 5 sessions. Doesn't sound too bad, until you think that it is 5 weekends with a beard that is slowly getting thinner ... but still there. I have been clean shaven, make-up, frills and proper clothing and even dresses for months now ... so even passing a mirror's reflected image will be frustrating to my progress ...
"Just a means to an end ... just a means to an end ... just a means to an end ..."
I got to keep telling me myself this. I am not de-transitioning, just another step closer to full goal. Perhaps find an electrolysis that I could go to later same day? *giggles with my current morphine levels, pain is not really an issue.
Oh 2 MAJOR developments, lifestyle wise ....
-- weight is down to 184lbs as of yesterday (from a high of 260 less than a year ago ... only about 35 more to go!!)
-- morphine now officially lower. I was up to 230mg slow release and 25mg breakthrough three times a day (over 690mg a day!). I just dropped again to 30mg, tree times daily (90mg, no breakthroughs). Hat in just about a year .... btw withdrawals suck!
Hmm headaches due to my testosterone blockers are under control for the second day. The pharmacist wasn't overly helpful, because since I am in morphine, I should not feel anything (note - my decline in morphine does not mean I am better or cured ... I am very much in more pain than in a long time ... just bearing with it better than tuning out ... I have goals and a true challenge - to start Sonya with the best life possible during this early transition period). I am currently taking a tylenol and an ibuprofen and it seems to disrupt the migraine cycle.
Was hoping to restart my YouTube vids ... for some reason vids directly uploaded from tablet just got uploaded ... never truly released or published/advertised. Not sure if people want to see an older transsexual with a light beard tho ... *lol I might do today while just very light, rather than on Sunday when I might resemble a relative of "Grizzly Adams".
Well almost done here so going to put this down and act as if I was very much just sitting hear listening to music and paying attention to the moving images on the screen. NF is about 80% what is auditory and at most 20% is visual ...
talk to you soon ....
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